I ask myself this question all too often: Am I fighting a losing battle? Is it impossible for me to achieve my goals? What are my goals to begin with? What is it that I am trying to achieve and how can I possibly expect to achieve it if I can barely manage to get through some days? Am I kidding myself? No one succeeds in life who sits around or lies around moping because their life is not what they want it to be. No one succeeds in life who’s afraid to do what he or she must do in order to get to the next level.

I know what demons I struggle against. I know what impedes my progress:

• Fear
• Indecision
• Procrastination

I started a new business venture about a month ago. In order for me to have even a remote chance of succeeding in what I want to do with the project, I am going to have to work with other people, something that I have avoided doing because of my discomfort dealing with people. I get nervous when dealing with people, something that isn’t necessarily uncommon; but in my case the nervousness is extreme. It is something I have battled since my childhood and eventually gave up battling, chosing instead to avoid people and social situations.

Running a home business has made it easier to pretty much break away from the outside world and deal with people via the computer; but there are few home-based businesses that are multi-million dollar enterprises being operated singlehandedly by a lone reclusive individual.

For the last several years I have managed to get by running my home-business singlehandedly; but managing to get by is not my idea of succeeding. That is not my goal, to manage to get by for the rest of my life. But if I am to have any chance of actually achieving my goals, I am going to have to conquer my fear of dealing with people, or at least learn to mask it enough that I am able to deal with people as necessary in order to make happen the things that need to happen if I am to make a success of this new project.

In the past I have succumbed to fear. I ran away from it. I hid from it and I have tried since to live my life in a shell protected from the things I fear. As I face the reality of having a good chance to build something successful; but needing to step out of my confort zone, to face and conquer my fears, I often feel a sense of panic. And under the influence of that panic I begin to think of all the reasons why what I am trying to do has no chance of succeeding anyway. It’s the way I cave into the fear, the way I let fear determine whether I succeed or fail in life.

Last week I had a conversation with a gentleman who has spent the last 8 years, at least, building what he has called a potential multi-billion dollar business. He is about as driven an individual as you are ever going to meet. He is determined to achieve success in business, to turn the “potential” into the billion-dollar business; and I am tempted to believe that from sheer will and determination he will accomplish his goal one way or another.

This individual, amazingly, lacks all but 2 of the detriments listed by Napoleon Hill as being the major causes of failure. He possesses a well-defined purpose in life. He is full of ambition to aim above mediocrity. He is educated in many areas and always seeks to fill any deficit if doing so will enable him to accomplish a goal more efficiently. He is one of the most self-disciplined persons I have ever encountered. He looks after his health, does not procrastinate, is persistent to a fault, avoids negativity, controls his urges, is not the type to want something for nothing. He is virtually fearless, is decisive, will take chances within reason, is careful about selecting business associates; and he is always enthusiastic about his ambition and his plans. One would expect that after 8 years such an individual will have already succeeded at his ambition. So why is he not yet the multi-billionaire that he is determined to become?

In my estimation of his situation, I would look to the number 30 on Napoleon Hill’s list of the 31 major causes of failure: Lack of capital.

But it could be that #15 is both directly and indirectly the real cause of his failure. According to Hill #15 is one of the most common causes of failure; and based on my conversations with this gentleman, I would conclude that one of the main reasons he has been unable to make any major strides is that he does not have the support of his spouse.

The fifteenth major cause of failure: Wrong selection of a mate in marriage.

From Napoleon Hill’s “Think And Grow Rich”:
“The relationship of marriage brings people intimately into contact. Unless this relationship is harmonious, failure is likely to follow. Moreover, it will be a form of failure that is marked by misery, and unhappiness, destroying all signs of ambition.”

In the case of the aforementioned gentleman, there is no sign that his ambition has been destroyed by the lack of harmony in his marriage, though the marital discord does appear to be draining on many levels; and I have on one or more occasion heard this individual complain of sometimes feeling like calling it quits, abandoning everything.

So what does one do who is striving to achieve success in business but is thwarted by having an unsupportive spouse and struggling with marital discord on a daily basis? Given a choice between enjoying success in business and holding on to a bad marriage, getting rid of the bad marriage seems to be the obvious choice; but few of us could make such a choice as simply as that.

This gentleman, for example, has children to think about. He is pretty clear in his own mind that he will not terminate his marriage while his children are still young; so he has at least another decade, barring unforeseen disasters, to either continue to struggle in his marriage and suffer in business as a result; or find a way to make his marriage an asset that contributes to his chances of succeeding in his goal of achieving success in business.

Above Photo: Titian, Adam and Eve, c. 1550. Madrid, Prado. Below, Rubens, Adam and Eve, 1628-29. Madrid, Prado.

The below exceprt from “Think And Grow Rich” by Napoleon Hill discusses the concept of knowledge as power, stressing the point that knowledge by itself is like potential energy. Until put to use to achieve a definite end it just sits in store. While you sit there within you lies the potential to be rich; but until that potential to be rich is turned into tangible wealth, it remains nothing but potential.

From “Think And Grow Rich”

There are two kinds of Knowledge. One is general, the other is specialized. General knowledge, no matter how great in quantity or variety it may be, is of but little use in the accumulation of money. The faculties of the great universities possess, in the aggregate, practically every form of general knowledge know to civilization. Most of the professors have but little moneuy. They specialize on teaching knowledge, but they do not specilize on the organization, or the use of knowledge.

Knowledge will not attract money, unless it is organized and intelligently directed, through practical plans of action, to the definite end of accumulation of money. Lack of unerstanding of this fact has been the source of confusion to millions of people who falsely believe that “knowledge is power”. It is nothing of the sort! Knowledge is only potential power. it becomes power only when, and if, it is organized into definite plans of action and directed to a definite end.

This “missing link” in all systems of education may be found in the failure of educational institutions to teach their students how to organize and use knowledge after they acquire it.

Many people make the mistake of assuming that, because Henry Ford had but little “schooling” he was not a man of “education”. Those who make this mistake do not understand the real meaning of the word “educate”. That word is derived from the Latin word “educo” meaning to deuce, to draw out, to develop from within.

An educated man is not, necessarily, one who has an abundance of general or specialized knowledge. An educated man is one who has so developed the faculties of his mind that he may acquire anything he wants, or its equivalent, without violating the rights of others.